MY EX HELPED ME DRESS “BETTER”

Yeapp, you read right.

I think this is going to be a funny post. Not funny as in ha ha but funny as in strange.

I had a video shoot on Sunday and I had brought along with me a vintage necklace that is actually a favourite of mine (seen below).

That’s my friend, Nadira. I hope she doesn’t mind being featured here. Hi Nadira!

Whilst filming, the wind got pretty strong and the necklace fell from the rack (where I had stupidly hung it – given the weight and nature of the necklace I should really have left it on something more sturdy). I immediately let out a big bad word and as quickly swallowed it (it was so rude of me to use profanity in front of Angela, the director/producer/camera person/media superwoman) before I heard some rattling noises, and realized it had come apart ): 

The necklace got me thinking of where I had purchased it – was it even me who bought it? Nope. It was my ex. We had gone to a secondhand store in Singapore (see post here) and I had fallen in love with it, but it was a little pricey so (I believe) he bought it for me. I also believe that it’s the only thing left from him that I still keep. I can’t bear to let it go because I love it that much. Or maybe I eventually bought it for myself? Oh dear, I really can’t remember. Anyway, it doesn’t really matter but the accident (plus recalling where I’d bought it from and who I was with) definitely did something – it made me think about what really really got me into fashion and styling.

Huh? You may ask. What is the link here?? Favourite vintage necklace –> ex boyfriend –> fashion? What?!

You see, I was in a relationship where my then boyfriend had a lot of input in my choice of wardrobe. In harsher terms, I had rules about what I could wear and what I couldn’t wear. He had wanted me to show as little skin as possible, and wanted me to look as shapeless as possible. If I were a little nicer, I’d rephrase this as him wanting me to dress as modestly as I could. Of course, we had different definitions of what modest means. For me, to dress modestly generally means I am in an outfit that doesn’t have a skirt/pair of shorts showing off lots of legs, no boob-hanging and cleavage-baring tops. For him, dressing modestly means no legs shown above the ankles, no upper arms seen, and of course, no cleavage-baring tops. To be honest, I felt so restricted. I had skirts that showed my calves, I had cap-sleeved tops that looked good on their own – I didn’t want to wear them under a cardigan, but I had to. For the sake of the relationship. I wasn’t allowed to wear my clothes the way I wanted to because I had loved this boy too much to realize I was sacrificing a big part of me (fashion and personal style).

But the good thing was, it pushed me to experiment. Because I wasn’t able to wear my clothes the way I had always worn them, I was forced to think of ways to cover myself up. Or look for new things that he would approve of, and still look good on me. I think at this point was when I really scavenged on the hand-me-downs from my mom. This was the point where I’d turned to vintage fashion because how much more stylish and modest can you get than with the 50s?

I mean, look at Taylor Swift. Her look is greatly influenced by that era … and I’ve never heard anyone say she dresses sluttily

This was the point that I got really acquainted with maxi skirts and dresses, and chiffon tops (because it falls nicely on the body and isn’t body-hugging, and mostly, humid weather-friendly).

I was thrown out of my comfort zone with my (old) personal style because of the circumstances I was in. In retrospect, that push to dress “modestly” enabled me to experiment – and when it comes to fashion, experimentation is a good thing because it allows you to play around with other possibilities to find out what is really you and perhaps, who you really are.

I am lucky because I no longer have such sartorial restrictions and I can now wear whatever I feel best conveys who I am. I’m just saying that, maybe, if it weren’t for my ex, I wouldn’t have gone out to source and find my own personal style.

{Image taken from Taylor Swift FB page}

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2 thoughts on “MY EX HELPED ME DRESS “BETTER”

  1. Nadira 30/01/2013 at 7:53 pm Reply

    Awww Hannah!!! I just chanced upon your blog today. And I didn’t realise I was featured. Haha cute blog. Loving it!

    • pocket101 30/01/2013 at 9:23 pm Reply

      Hahahah! Thanks Nadira!! Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier! :p

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